02-18-03 - 3:06 p.m.

I think I'm getting sick. I thought maybe it was just allergies at first because it was just a scratchy throat, but maybe it's germs. Something has been going around the office, so I wouldn't be surprised. So I guess I can't kiss anybody now. I wasn't kissing anybody before, but that's irrelevant.

I went to an anti-Valentine's Day party Friday night at April and Jeff's apartment. We watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The only other time I've seen it was six years ago, and I couldn't remember if it had an actual plot. Well, it does. But it's one of those plots that's only there to string together the gags. It doesn't even have a real ending. But I liked it okay. It takes a certain kind of person to think the whole thing is hysterical. I am sometimes friends with that kind of person, but I am not one myself. I was really glad I went. It's been a long time since I hung out with a group of people. I liked talking with them, and it took my mind off the day's tensions.

Last week I signed up on a penpal site. You can see my profile here. I've written to a few people, one of whom has written back, and a couple of other people have written to me, too. One is from Turkey, and the other is from Nepal. Maybe I'll decide it's too much effort and delete myself from the site, but I felt like meeting some new people.

I've been having dreams about terrorism and war recently. Last week I had one in which there was a ton of flooding on the east coast. Apparently the terrorists had gotten ahold of the weather. It even collapsed a few high-rise apartment buildings. I was at the suburban house of some Amish family friends helping them bail out their home. I don't really know any Amish people, but I have friends who do. This Amish family was evidently of the liberal, progressive variety because they had things like a washing machine. The wife told me that was allowed. Mhm.

On Sunday I dreamed that two of my friends and I were sitting outside at night talking, and we looked up and noticed these shooting stars. But they were running in parallel lines close together, and then we realized they weren't meteors and that we were about to be bombed. And then it started and bombs were exploding all around us and we hid in the trailer of a nearby truck. I don't know if that's a good place to hide, but we made it. The whole time I was praying that none of the bombs would land near me. I don't know what people usually think when they're in an air raid, but that's about all I could think.

Do you think I should be a conscientious objector? I've been wondering about that. I didn't grow up with pacifism, but it appeals to me. Mennonites are pacifists. I want to read The Politics of Jesus by John Yoder, who I think is a Mennonite. I do have a vague admiration for the military, though. I just hate killing.